Hey S,

I haven't thought about you in awhile, not until I saw your name in my Xbox friends list, of all things. The irrational side of me wanted to send you some kind of invite- a provocation- and weasel my way back into your life. I had to stop myself and say, "Leave that poor person alone. Let it die," and I left it at that.

Your username is still there as a sign you still exist. I'm not sure I'd be able to find you otherwise; you were always quite offline. I miss you. There's no way we can be in contact again because I ended it so finally and brutally. I was angry and hurt. And I know I can't reach out to you again because I feel myself going wild again, knocked off kilter, when I think about you. You brought out the best and absolute worse in me and I'm pissed I loved you more than you loved me.

I always hope you're doing well, but also fuck you. Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. You're a good person, and I can never see you again. You changed my life for, ultimately, the good. May good things come your way, stupid.

sincerely, deerboy.